There Was an Old Lady...

By Shmuel Ross

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly
I don't know why she swallowed a fly
I guess she'll die

There was an old lady who went to the Doc
He gave her a pill, which was rather a shock
She swallowed the pill to flush out the fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she'll die

There were side effects — In fact there were lots
She went to the specialist who gave her shots
She took the shots to balance the pill
Which slowly but surely was making her ill
She took the pill to flush the fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she'll die

She had a bad heart, which gave out at last
The surgeon then performed a triple bypass
She needed the bypass because of the shots
She took the shots to balance the pill
Which slowly but surely was making her ill
She took the pill to flush the fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she'll die

She needed a transplant; she got a new heart
Because her old one wouldn't restart
She needed the heart because of the bypass
She needed the bypass because of the shots
She took the shots to balance the pill
Which slowly but surely was making her ill
She took the pill to flush the fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she'll die

Her body rejected the heart that was new
They gave her more drugs — What else could they do?
They gave her the drugs to help the new heart
She needed the heart because of the bypass
She needed the bypass because of the shots
She took the shots to balance the pill
Which slowly but surely was making her ill
She took the pill to flush the fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she'll die

The drugs caused more problems, I'm sorry to say
You'll find her by tombstone 132-A
The lady dropped dead because of the drugs
They gave her the drugs to help the new heart
She needed the heart because of the bypass
She needed the bypass because of the shots
She took the shots to balance the pill
Which slowly but surely was making her ill
She took the pill to flush the fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Too bad she died.

Copyright 1990 by Shmuel Ross. All Rights Reserved.