Cryogenics

By Shmuel Ross

Mr. Block was at the Doc
Because he felt unhealthy
"Well, Doc", he spoke, "Will I soon choke?
"Will I live to be wealthy?"

Said Doc to him, "The news is grim
"You've got six months to go
"Write up your will and if you're ill
"Call me and let me know"

Block went home and thought alone
Now what was he to do?
He went next door to Mrs. Gore
And told her of the news

Mrs. Gore paced up the floor
And said "I think I've got it!
"What you should do is go right to
"A cryogenics outfit"

Block went home — picked up the phone
And called up Doctor Sears
He asked him "Please could you just freeze
"Me for a bunch of years"

Sears said "Fine — just hold the line
"I've got another call
"I'll be right back so just relax
"And don't worry at all"

Sears hit "HOLD" and called to Gold
"It looks like we've got work!
"He's on the line since he's not fine
"He wants to have the works!"

Gold called to Sears "That's good to hear!"
And Sears went to the line
"Come in at three, and ask for me
"Everything will be fine"

Block went to Sears with all his fears
He was a little worried
Sears said "Don't whine — soon you'll be fine
"Although we're rather hurried

"You see", he said, "soon you'll be dead
"We have to be prepared
"Set up machines and other things
"Please sign this contract here."

Six months went by, and Block — he died
His body went to Sears
Who took Block to the freezing room
And he was treated there

Now it's been said — Block lost his head
And that is not a lie
It's in deep freeze at low degrees
Waiting to be revived

His body's in the other room
It's also being froze
White as a sheet, Block has cold feet
And a cold in his nose

Way down the line, later in time
A hundred years have passed
And Sears' kid, old Doctor Sid
Will revive Block at last.

He goes right to the freezing tomb
To wake Block from his rest
He turns a dial without a smile
And watches what comes next

It's getting hot as it has not
For many, many years
All this time, Block's doing fine
Or that's how it appears.

Sid gives to Block a dozen shots
To cure his old disease
To warm old Block he gives him shots
Of the finest whiskeys

But alas, alack, Block won't come back
Sears made a bad mistake
He made machines and other things
But they won't help Block wake

Sears made one slip when he equipped
Block for his long, long freeze
He did a lot but he forgot
To change the batteries!

Though it was cold, still it is told
That Block did not survive
Without the power, not for an hour
Would he still stay alive.

You all should note this tale I wrote
So you won't be deluded
If you get froze make sure he knows
Batteries are included

Copyright 1989 by Shmuel Ross. All Rights Reserved.